Train of thought

Anila walked into her room, heaving a sigh of relief. Looking at her bed felt like a blessing after a hard day's work in front of the laptop. She decided to freshen up as quickly as possible and then doze off. After two weeks of hardcore coding, the build was finally sent to the client and the whole team was glad that it was finally over. However, the exhaustion overpowered the accomplishment of successful winding up of the project. She changed into her pajamas and lied down on her bed and began to fathom.. 

“Phew..That felt like a year. But it was a very challenging project. I don't think I could have done it without Rahul's help. He's a nice guy but I don't like him boasting and yapping off about work, all the time. I guess he thinks he is God or something, cuz he considers himself to be an atheist. I'm pretty sure God is looking down at him and thinking “These humans!”. I know God likes me..cuz I visit the temple in our neighborhood, whenever possible. Temples have this calming effect on me. The stones and the marble have a cooling effect that no other piece of land has ever given me. The silence of the interiors and the chiming of the bells kind of releases all the tension from my mind! Plus I get to meet people from the neighborhood; after all, I'm a social person! The other day, I met Seema at the temple. She is so sweet and I loved the pink outfit she wore. It really accentuates her hips. Pink suits me too. I have this pink salwar that I had worn to Ashi anna's wedding. I got it stitched from this nosy tailor; so annoying he is! But his work is good, so its okay. Everybody at the wedding said I looked pretty. I loveee basking in the pool of praises! Haha, I don' even know if that phrase is used right. Oh, I'm so funny..like the other day, when I tried to crack a joke about the food that Americans eat. That reminds me..I need to buy fruits to survive the next week. I should make a list of things to buy, so I can finish off with the shopping this weekend. I wish I could just order it on Grofers. But hand-picking grocery gives me the assurance that its organic, natural and not rotten. Man, there's an app for everything! It only makes us lazy. Oh I remember seeing a notification on my phone about some sale on Myntra..Let me open and check it..” She unlocks the phone and immediately locks it back. “God! The light is blinding in the dark..! I guess I should just sleep now..its been a tough week. The best thing is that I can sleep as long as I want, tomorrow. I'll wake up at 12 and go shopping. Gotta meet brother too, damn! I completely forgot about it. I guess he needs money. If only he didn't spend so much on video games..he wouldn't be dependent on me. I'm the good kid in the family according to ....” and unknowingly she had fallen asleep; snoring the very next minute.

If you are a guy and still reading this, then congrats! You can successfully listen to a girl blabber about girl-things, without complaining! :D I am not very sure about what goes on boys' minds when they are almost unconscious, before sleep. Probably, “She looked so good today!” or, “I need to collect *some-game* from *some-person*” or, “when do I go party next!”. Anyway, the point of discussion is about this train of thought. The story-snippet was just a short narrative about 30 minutes of a lady's life, before she sleeps (from the time she enters the room till she sleeps). Notice how the thought actually began about work and then , moved on to different things and in the end, it became something completely irrelevant to the first thought?! How many times have you done this? Knowingly or unknowingly. Before sleeping? In the shower? While walking or riding? Or while sitting and doing nothing on a boring Sunday noon?

I surprisingly do this a lot. I noticed it the other day, and decided to write about it. I tried to use the backtracking algorithm (Ah, that's the engineer in me speaking!) to figure how I ended up with the final topic. I was really amused at the train of thought and the fact that it was completely involuntary. The human mind is capable of connecting memories so quickly. Hence I decided to dig a little deeper in the field of mind-science.

Apparently, when we are working on something in particular, our mind exerts power, and tries to concentrate only on what is being done at that moment. So, our entire focus is only on the job we are performing. However, when we are at it, there are a set of thoughts which are below the level of immediate conscious awareness – and are called the preconscious thoughts. These thoughts are capable of becoming 'conscious' but are not completely forgotten. When we are preparing to sleep, or in a relaxed mood without having much to do or think – these thoughts begin to surface in the conscious mind. That is when we begin to think about it.
 “Once those preconscious thoughts gather sufficient strength, the full spotlight of consciousness beams down on them.”
 This is the reason we end up thinking about the less important things, at night or at leisure. It is not completely voluntary, but just a way for the mind to let out its suppressed thoughts.

Apart from this, there is something called 'racing thoughts'. These refer to “the rapid thought patterns that often occur in manic, hypo manic, or mixed episodes”. According to what I have understood, these must not be confused with the preconscious thoughts. Racing thoughts could be dangerous and can lead to anxiety and insomnia. It is often related to overwhelming and/or irritated thoughts and feelings. Preconscious thoughts are milder versions of racing thoughts and so, is perfectly normal.

To think how the mind remembers and works out so many things, keeps memories in the brain, and how quickly they can surface, makes me wonder how well-wired we are. If at all there is a 'maker' – who has made us all, then he is a brainy brilliant genius! He must be looking at - us trying to figure out how things work in our brain, and grinning with a broad smile right now.